I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im six kinds of drunk right now
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
either way he was missing a nipple.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
