So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
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You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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