WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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