It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
