somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well I just put wine in my tea
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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