you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
there is glitter all over my balls
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
