Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
