I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
