Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
