The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
