glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
