Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
