U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
