i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
