If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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