Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
