omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
