forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
