Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
