My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
