he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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