I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
