i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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