I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
