Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
