Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
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His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
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I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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