Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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