let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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