this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
