You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
