if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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