I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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