I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
