we have pet lesbian snakes
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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