Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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