Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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