I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
