im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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