i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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