so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
