how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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