see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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