he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize