eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
