he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
