I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
