I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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