you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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