I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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