I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
