So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
