We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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