I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
