.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
