You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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