Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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