watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize