You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
