i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
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