idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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