i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Randomize
