where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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