I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
