Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I've blown a few things in my day
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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