Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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