Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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