Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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