But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
