i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
