Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
