Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
